We finish our preps and my cousin comes to pick me so we can head to the dormitory. We get to the dormitory - luckily I was allocated the same as my cousin; Venus dormitory and we'd sleep in the same cube. We start unpacking my shopping to get them into the box - mind you I had the biggest box in the whole school which people used to make fun of; that the smallest girl in school would fit into it and get locked in there :-) We are seated there and in no minute people start gathering there just because someone had lied how I had a small sack of sugar and so many rolls of tissues and some big shopping and now the biggest box. Funny! Well, I din't have a sack of sugar but I had like 10 rolls of tissues...not bad yeah? Started to get afraid of people but confidence would kick in because I knew my cousin had my back and she was no nonsense when it'd come to defending me :) Heeeey Grace :-)
We get done with everything and spend the night which I would be lying if I said that I slept comfortable because all along I was thinking of my next life and what would transpire. How secondary life would be. If I would stand all the people. If I was so late to start school again. Asking myself so many questions that I wasn't sure to get answers but one thing I was sure of is that I was ready to do anything and not give up on my education which had been my dream. I had to do this. I was ready for it.
My cousin woke me up following morning before the bell rung so I would go get hot water from the kitchen. Yes, she was this good and nice to me - may God bless her for me. I go get water and head to the bathroom but then I wasn't ready for what was happening (I wish this thing had emojis I'd have put my exact reaction lol!). I wasn't ready for it. Lol! Had to stand outside until whoever was in the bathroom got out - I wasn't ready to shower from outside. Weh! But after like a month or so I'd be the first to shower from those open areas....but the life :-) Anyway, I got used to everything after a while.
We get in for morning prep and I still use other people's books to study for the day's papers. But it was what it was (iriwaswaririwas!!) After all what was important at the time was to appear on the list even if I was gonna write just my name on the papers and leave everything else blank. To cut the story short, I managed to write my name on all the exam papers and apply the little I had learnt within the hours of reading other people's books after years of not being school. Mind you I wasn't an A student back in Primary School to assume that I was born bright or something...well, I'm not saying I was a dunderhead but iriwaswaririwas :-) I remember I had repeated class 7 only because I had scored 197 marks and you had to attain at least a mark of 200 for you to be promoted to class 8 so I missed it with 3 marks. I spent two damn years in one class :-( . But I wasn't dumb, yes? Yes? I wasn't a dunderhead :-) so please don't laugh. LOL! But at least after joining class 8 I scored 242 marks yeeeey! So your guess is as good as mine of how empty I was after 2 years of staying out of school and making small money just to spend on food. SMH!
So we have completed the exams for the first term and results are released and my not so dumb head scored 32 points which I guess was a D-minus by the then. At least I did not score an E even if I thought I was empty. This is because I had decided to do it and make it happen and prove to everyone that I could do it and actually make it through Secondary School. Something I never did was compare myself with other people. I had a cousin who was very and still is bright and she used to score A's (heeeey Purity) but I never allowed myself to get demotivated. I refused to compare myself. I decided to do me and focus. I was so happy to present and announce my score grade to my dad and uncles and they actually commended me for it because they never thought I would score such points at the time. One particularly (heeeey Uncle Ben) made me believe in myself so much and it made me think, if I could score such without reading much them what would I then score if I had a serious read. Everything was all good and I was ready to make everyone especially my dad proud.
I remember when the teachers were announcing the results on parade before we closed school I was commended for the scored points because they also did not believe that I could do it since they knew my story that I hadn't been in school for a while. Life started getting good and I started gaining more and more confidence and reasons why I should not give up. I had so many people who had my back including the teachers.
Holiday is over and now was ready for the second term in school. Time to make history. Time to make my fam proud. Time to make myself proud. Time to prove to my haters. Time to earn what I had always wished for. I worked so hard and surprisingly for the end of the term exams I scored a 64 points which was a B-minus. I was the happiest. I was the talk in school by the teachers on how good I had done and the huge improvement too. I remember I was given a present (see picture in the end) for this.
During 3rd term in Form 2 I was also elected as the dormitory assistant captain and the following year during elections I was voted in as the dormitory captain until I finished school - and oh! my dormitory (there 4 dormitories) kept winning every year for those 3 years so we had goat eating for consecutive years :-)
I continued to make things happen. I remember the not so bright me managed to become position 3 when in form 4 and this was during mock exams. I was grateful for everything and the support I had. I was so happy. For the KCSE I also managed to get a grade that would allow me join University and I was done with the phase and ready for my next life.
Things I learnt from this is:
- to never give up;
- to always work hard and smart to make what you want happen;
- it's only you who can make it happen once you have been given the platform;
- you can only be as good as you think you you are (it's all in the mind);
- never compare yourself to other people;
- believe in yourself and trust in God to take you through the process;
- even if there seems like there is no way and looks like the tunnel is so dark, there is always a way and light at the end of the tunnel; and
- it is never late to start (you just need to make up your mind and focus).
Pray and trust in God. Be you. Do you. Do not compare yourself to other people; they have a different brain and process from you. Be confident about what you want to do. Own your actions. Learn to trust the process. You got yourself. Make yourself proud.
Thank you for reading :-) Feel free to laugh and comment :-)